Well Meaning Parents & "Home Schooling a toddler/preschooler"

Often we receive emails at PreschoolFirst from well meaning parents who struggle under the popular mis-perception that they must “do worksheets” with their young child as a way to help them learn and “be ready” for kindergarten. Here’s one we received over the Thanksgiving Day weekend from a NJ mom with the email subject line Home Schooling a toddler/preschooler. She wrote:

“With so many site(s) out there offering worksheets to work on and art activities, math, language, and reading, how does one know what their child is ready for and capable of? How much is to(o) much information for this age group before they get overstimulated or lose interest?”

With little or no background in child development, confused and overwhelmed parents often fall victim to the “better start’em sooner” syndrome. Child development experts know that worksheets and memorized facts are meaningless to a toddler/preschooler’s overall knowledge about the world and learning how he/she relates to it. In fact…memorized facts will only serve a very limited purpose even in an academic environment.

Knowing the alphabet song is not the same as recognizing letters that appear in your name; and rote counting to 20 is not the same as problem-solving how to share 5 cookies between 2 children. Academic subjects are artificial ways adults organize learning for older children, young children however experience all learning in an integrated way. For example, pre-mathematical concepts can be learned in the early years in block play and pre-literacy is practiced in a parents lap when they share a favorite story together.

Ultimately all adults want to help young children grow and be successful learners. If you’re not sure what is reasonable or unreasonable to expect a young child to be able to do, or if a parent asks for guidance, review an activity or “worksheet” with the following questions in mind.

Questions to determine if a learning activity is Appropriate or Inappropriate:

Would this child CHOOSE to do this activity over something else that is similar but involves more open-ended play?

1. Does he/she squirm, have difficulty sitting, or look away often during the activity?
2. Can the child hold and use the tools or supplies needed to do the activity without your constant “correction” or supervision?
3. Will the end result of this activity look unique and acceptable no matter your child’s skill level? Or does it only produce an end result that is “cookie cutter” (i.e. very close to the same no matter who completes it)?
4. Does this activity require the child to “sit and focus” as one would expect a 6-7 year old child to be able to do?
5. Does your child seem happy and interested while you do this together?
6. Does the end result require that an adult “fix it” so it looks “perfect?”
7. Is there only one "right" way to complete the activity?

Please add your 2¢ and respond!

What would you say to help this parent understand the unnecessary physical stress and emotional pressure worksheet activities place on toddlers and young children?

What would you suggest she try?